March Recap and Hiatus

March went well...I tried to meet my goals, but I don't know how close I really came on any of them. More importantly though, I don't know how well the blog is really doing to improve my happiness. I had intended to use it to track what I was doing towards my monthly goals, but usually it's just a struggle to know what to blog about.

Thus a hiatus from blogging. I think it is more important for me to focus on being healthy, exercising and taking care of myself than it is to be blogging right now. 

I might come back in a few months or I might not for a while. I will leave the blog up and running for those who are finding my recipes and other posts. I appreciate all those who have commented, pinned, or read my blog. 

Look for me again in the future, but until then be happy!

Promoting Communication

Image: Jennifer Donley

Every relationship expert tells you that the key to a good relationship is communication. Sometimes our lives get in the way and we aren't always focused on communicating with our spouse. Frequent communication is so important for a healthy and happy marriage. You need to let your spouse know what you are feeling and what you would like them to do! We aren't mind readers : ) Setting aside time for deep one-on-one talks isn't easy and having deep conversations doesn't always come naturally. Working on little ways to communicate often makes a big difference. Here's my list of "little" ways:

• Text once a day while you are away from each other. Just a short "I Love You!" or a virtual hug shows the other person you are thinking of them.
• Make notes during your day about what you did/thought/things you want to talk about later. I often do this with my husband and during dinner we go through the list. It's a great way to unwind from the day and share your life with your spouse.
• Write love letters to each other. Your love letter could be about how you appreciate the hard work your spouse does (at work or around the house), something they said that made you smile, or just how much you love them. Again, this shows your spouse you really are thinking about them and appreciate them. 
• Leave a note somewhere they will find it (bathroom mirror, suitcase, lunch box). A heart, smiley face, or "I Love You" will put a smile on their face. 

What ways do you promote frequent communication with your spouse?

Date Night Bucket List

                                                                                                                 I love having a "Bucket List" of date ideas that I want to try 
out with my husband. Just having a list to fall back on makes it easier to plan a date night, especially a spontaneous one!
Here's our current Date Night Bucket List:

• Photo shoot of each other/as a couple - get a tripod/balance your camera, set the timer or use a remote and ham it up!
• Thrift Store/Antique shopping - compete to find the coolest or oldest item, or see who can find an item in a particular category together, find something for $5, etc.
• Volunteer together - soup kitchen, humanitarian project, environmental project
• Go to the beach - find the best shell or rock
• Create a piece of artwork together and hang it in your home
• Picnic at the park - go all out or keep it simple
• Make a list of goals for you as a couple for the year/month - start tackling the list!
• Go to a make-your-own ceramics place - decorate a piece together or each make one for the other

What's on your bucket list?

The Five Languages of Apology: A Book Review

Image: Amazon

Much like his other book, Gary Chapman's The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships is focused on having the best relationship you can. While I apply this and The Five Love Languages specifically to my relationship with my husband, the books are applicable to any and all relationships.

I think that this book is most effective if read and applied before marriage or even engagement. Discovering your spouse's and your own languages of apology can minimize the chance of misunderstandings in your relationship. Make sure you ask your spouse or significant other for their languages so you can practice apologizing to them in the language they are programmed with. 

My husband and I have the same top two languages of apology, so we didn't really have to adjust how we say sorry, but we found it helpful to see the examples of how to truly apologize to someone. Chapman has such an easy writing style and peppers the text with real examples that really open your eyes to apology. 

A Beautiful Friendship

The best friendship is the one that blossoms into love. Romance doesn't have to be crazy. Love doesn't have to be instantaneous. You can grow into love and find it in unexpected places. 

I feel so lucky to have known my husband as a friend before we ever were a couple. I know it doesn't and can't always happen that way for everyone, but if it was possible I would recommend it. It's nice to already be comfortable with someone and know the basics (or the not-so-basics) of his/her character before you delve into the deeper relationship areas. 

If you weren't best friends before marriage you can still be best friends now. Treat your spouse as a friend - acknowledge their feelings and opinions and share yours with them. Really strive to communicate with each other: verbally, in writing, and with your body language. Show how much you love them and want to know them. You have the great gift of being let into their person. Prove that you respect that by asking for their ideas and input, by speaking their love language and their language of apology. 

Your marriage doesn't have to be intensely romantic all the time, but it should be a friendship. 

Quality Time on a Busy Weekend

My husband and I both have Quality Time as our secondary love languages. Basically that means in order to feel loved we really need to make sure we have enough time together. Weekends full of chores and activities tend to be more typical than relaxing days of enjoying each other's company. However, that doesn't mean we can't get in enough quality time together, we just have to make it productive:

How do you and your spouse include quality time in your lives? 

The Importance of Sharing a Hobby

I honestly think that having something you both love to do together makes the hugest difference in a marriage (or any relationship for that matter). It's great to have things you enjoy by yourself of with other people, but it is so important to have at least one thing you look forward to with each other.

While doing activities together that your spouse prefers is a great way of showing your love for them, finding that one (or more!) activity that you both enjoy is golden. Here are my suggestions for finding an activity for you and your spouse to share:

• TV - setting aside time each week to sit down together and enjoy a show you both enjoy.
• Walking/Jogging/Running - If you are both interested in working out, exercising together is a great activity. Walking is especially nice because you are able to talk while you're working out.
• Reading - If you're both into the same literature it can be fun to read a book together. Either take turns with the book or read it out loud.
• Board and card games - My husband and I love playing games. Finding a two-person game that you both enjoy gives you an easy activity to fall back on when you don't have plans.
• Cooking - On the weekends we love to make our meals together. Working as a team to make your food (or as a team towards any goal) brings you closer together. It's a very relaxing way of getting back in sync with each other and at the end you have dinner!

What are your favorite hobbies and activities to do with your spouse or significant other? How do you like to spend your free time together?

A Lovely Wordle

Just find some time to love today : ) 

Want to make your own Wordle? Check out my tutorial here.

Choose to Love

Make the choice today to show some love. Love your spouse, your friend, your family. Make an effort and it will show. The people you love will feel that love and you'll be surprised to see how much is returned to you. Here's how to do it:

1. Pick someone to love today.

2. See if you can figure out their love language (Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch). Hint: how do they usually show love? It's easiest to love in our own love language, so that's an easy way to guess someone's love language.

3. Plan how to love them using their love language. Spend some time together (coffee date?) if their love language is Quality Time. Tell them how amazingly they do X, Y, and Z if they respond to Words of Affirmation. Give them a gift (doesn't matter how small it is - a freshly picked flower or a special treat) if you think their love language is Gifts. Help them out (wash the dishes? walk the dog?) if they usually perform Acts of Service for you. Offer them a back rub or give them a hug if you think they prefer Physical Touch. 

4. Watch them responding to your love! 

What helps you in making the choice to love? What have been your favorite random acts of love? 

The 5 Love Languages - A Book Review

Image: Amazon

Before our marriage my husband and I both read The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. I strongly recommend engaged or even dating couples to read this book. It helps you discover what love language you and your spouse have and how to communicate in these love languages. If you are already married I'd still recommend it! 

The chances of you and your spouse having the same love language aren't good. So learning to speak in his/her language is essential for them to understand how much you love them! Chapman is a marriage counselor and his experience in this area is obvious. I love the real-life stories he includes to illustrate the different love languages: 

• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Even if you and your partner are good at expressing your love in a way that you each respond to, the book really does a good job of providing more ideas and ways to speak each love language. It's an easy read, well written, and practical. Good on all fronts : ) 

The Happiness Project - March Goals

This month my theme is marriage. I have a wonderful marriage. I don't think anything is wrong with it, but I think marriages are something that needs to be nurtured. My sub-goals for the month are:

• Practice speaking my husband's love language. People express and receive love in different ways. Focusing on my husband's love language will help him feel my love for him more strongly.

• Make an effort to have a monthly date night. Making special time for us makes it easier to connect.

• Work on increasing communication. Everyone can tell you that communication is essential for any relationship. I want to work on increasing and improving my various forms of communication with my husband. 

Do you have any other areas to recommend for me? I'd like this month to really be about connecting on a deep level and enjoying each other. What ways do you work on your relationship?