March Recap and Hiatus

March went well...I tried to meet my goals, but I don't know how close I really came on any of them. More importantly though, I don't know how well the blog is really doing to improve my happiness. I had intended to use it to track what I was doing towards my monthly goals, but usually it's just a struggle to know what to blog about.

Thus a hiatus from blogging. I think it is more important for me to focus on being healthy, exercising and taking care of myself than it is to be blogging right now. 

I might come back in a few months or I might not for a while. I will leave the blog up and running for those who are finding my recipes and other posts. I appreciate all those who have commented, pinned, or read my blog. 

Look for me again in the future, but until then be happy!

Promoting Communication

Image: Jennifer Donley

Every relationship expert tells you that the key to a good relationship is communication. Sometimes our lives get in the way and we aren't always focused on communicating with our spouse. Frequent communication is so important for a healthy and happy marriage. You need to let your spouse know what you are feeling and what you would like them to do! We aren't mind readers : ) Setting aside time for deep one-on-one talks isn't easy and having deep conversations doesn't always come naturally. Working on little ways to communicate often makes a big difference. Here's my list of "little" ways:

• Text once a day while you are away from each other. Just a short "I Love You!" or a virtual hug shows the other person you are thinking of them.
• Make notes during your day about what you did/thought/things you want to talk about later. I often do this with my husband and during dinner we go through the list. It's a great way to unwind from the day and share your life with your spouse.
• Write love letters to each other. Your love letter could be about how you appreciate the hard work your spouse does (at work or around the house), something they said that made you smile, or just how much you love them. Again, this shows your spouse you really are thinking about them and appreciate them. 
• Leave a note somewhere they will find it (bathroom mirror, suitcase, lunch box). A heart, smiley face, or "I Love You" will put a smile on their face. 

What ways do you promote frequent communication with your spouse?

Date Night Bucket List

                                                                                                                 I love having a "Bucket List" of date ideas that I want to try 
out with my husband. Just having a list to fall back on makes it easier to plan a date night, especially a spontaneous one!
Here's our current Date Night Bucket List:

• Photo shoot of each other/as a couple - get a tripod/balance your camera, set the timer or use a remote and ham it up!
• Thrift Store/Antique shopping - compete to find the coolest or oldest item, or see who can find an item in a particular category together, find something for $5, etc.
• Volunteer together - soup kitchen, humanitarian project, environmental project
• Go to the beach - find the best shell or rock
• Create a piece of artwork together and hang it in your home
• Picnic at the park - go all out or keep it simple
• Make a list of goals for you as a couple for the year/month - start tackling the list!
• Go to a make-your-own ceramics place - decorate a piece together or each make one for the other

What's on your bucket list?

The Five Languages of Apology: A Book Review

Image: Amazon

Much like his other book, Gary Chapman's The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships is focused on having the best relationship you can. While I apply this and The Five Love Languages specifically to my relationship with my husband, the books are applicable to any and all relationships.

I think that this book is most effective if read and applied before marriage or even engagement. Discovering your spouse's and your own languages of apology can minimize the chance of misunderstandings in your relationship. Make sure you ask your spouse or significant other for their languages so you can practice apologizing to them in the language they are programmed with. 

My husband and I have the same top two languages of apology, so we didn't really have to adjust how we say sorry, but we found it helpful to see the examples of how to truly apologize to someone. Chapman has such an easy writing style and peppers the text with real examples that really open your eyes to apology. 

A Beautiful Friendship

The best friendship is the one that blossoms into love. Romance doesn't have to be crazy. Love doesn't have to be instantaneous. You can grow into love and find it in unexpected places. 

I feel so lucky to have known my husband as a friend before we ever were a couple. I know it doesn't and can't always happen that way for everyone, but if it was possible I would recommend it. It's nice to already be comfortable with someone and know the basics (or the not-so-basics) of his/her character before you delve into the deeper relationship areas. 

If you weren't best friends before marriage you can still be best friends now. Treat your spouse as a friend - acknowledge their feelings and opinions and share yours with them. Really strive to communicate with each other: verbally, in writing, and with your body language. Show how much you love them and want to know them. You have the great gift of being let into their person. Prove that you respect that by asking for their ideas and input, by speaking their love language and their language of apology. 

Your marriage doesn't have to be intensely romantic all the time, but it should be a friendship. 

Quality Time on a Busy Weekend

My husband and I both have Quality Time as our secondary love languages. Basically that means in order to feel loved we really need to make sure we have enough time together. Weekends full of chores and activities tend to be more typical than relaxing days of enjoying each other's company. However, that doesn't mean we can't get in enough quality time together, we just have to make it productive:

How do you and your spouse include quality time in your lives? 

The Importance of Sharing a Hobby

I honestly think that having something you both love to do together makes the hugest difference in a marriage (or any relationship for that matter). It's great to have things you enjoy by yourself of with other people, but it is so important to have at least one thing you look forward to with each other.

While doing activities together that your spouse prefers is a great way of showing your love for them, finding that one (or more!) activity that you both enjoy is golden. Here are my suggestions for finding an activity for you and your spouse to share:

• TV - setting aside time each week to sit down together and enjoy a show you both enjoy.
• Walking/Jogging/Running - If you are both interested in working out, exercising together is a great activity. Walking is especially nice because you are able to talk while you're working out.
• Reading - If you're both into the same literature it can be fun to read a book together. Either take turns with the book or read it out loud.
• Board and card games - My husband and I love playing games. Finding a two-person game that you both enjoy gives you an easy activity to fall back on when you don't have plans.
• Cooking - On the weekends we love to make our meals together. Working as a team to make your food (or as a team towards any goal) brings you closer together. It's a very relaxing way of getting back in sync with each other and at the end you have dinner!

What are your favorite hobbies and activities to do with your spouse or significant other? How do you like to spend your free time together?

A Lovely Wordle

Just find some time to love today : ) 

Want to make your own Wordle? Check out my tutorial here.

Choose to Love

Make the choice today to show some love. Love your spouse, your friend, your family. Make an effort and it will show. The people you love will feel that love and you'll be surprised to see how much is returned to you. Here's how to do it:

1. Pick someone to love today.

2. See if you can figure out their love language (Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch). Hint: how do they usually show love? It's easiest to love in our own love language, so that's an easy way to guess someone's love language.

3. Plan how to love them using their love language. Spend some time together (coffee date?) if their love language is Quality Time. Tell them how amazingly they do X, Y, and Z if they respond to Words of Affirmation. Give them a gift (doesn't matter how small it is - a freshly picked flower or a special treat) if you think their love language is Gifts. Help them out (wash the dishes? walk the dog?) if they usually perform Acts of Service for you. Offer them a back rub or give them a hug if you think they prefer Physical Touch. 

4. Watch them responding to your love! 

What helps you in making the choice to love? What have been your favorite random acts of love? 

The 5 Love Languages - A Book Review

Image: Amazon

Before our marriage my husband and I both read The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. I strongly recommend engaged or even dating couples to read this book. It helps you discover what love language you and your spouse have and how to communicate in these love languages. If you are already married I'd still recommend it! 

The chances of you and your spouse having the same love language aren't good. So learning to speak in his/her language is essential for them to understand how much you love them! Chapman is a marriage counselor and his experience in this area is obvious. I love the real-life stories he includes to illustrate the different love languages: 

• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Even if you and your partner are good at expressing your love in a way that you each respond to, the book really does a good job of providing more ideas and ways to speak each love language. It's an easy read, well written, and practical. Good on all fronts : ) 

The Happiness Project - March Goals

This month my theme is marriage. I have a wonderful marriage. I don't think anything is wrong with it, but I think marriages are something that needs to be nurtured. My sub-goals for the month are:

• Practice speaking my husband's love language. People express and receive love in different ways. Focusing on my husband's love language will help him feel my love for him more strongly.

• Make an effort to have a monthly date night. Making special time for us makes it easier to connect.

• Work on increasing communication. Everyone can tell you that communication is essential for any relationship. I want to work on increasing and improving my various forms of communication with my husband. 

Do you have any other areas to recommend for me? I'd like this month to really be about connecting on a deep level and enjoying each other. What ways do you work on your relationship?

February Goals Recap

This month has been a lot of work, but I think I've done well on my goals:

• Exercise - I, with my husband, have been using online workout videos to get in exercise sessions each week. We started with every other day, but haven't quite kept it up. I try to be realistic with life getting in the way, but really my life is dependent on my health, so I need to work on that.
• Increasing Up Time - I've really met this goal. During the week I spend at least 2 hours "up" each day...typically the majority of that time is walking. I haven't successfully maintained 10,000 steps each day, but I do reach that goal often and am usually above 8,000 per day.
• Water, Water, Water - I wish I knew the ounces I've been drinking (I don't track that), but I bet it's a lot! I drink a ton of water every day. I haven't noticed any affect from it yet, but I'm sure it's helping.
• Nutrition - This area I probably struggle with more than exercising! I think I have improved (homemade whole wheat bread, less and healthier desserts, healthier breakfasts), but I have yet to enjoy the improved nutrition. I've read about people who actually crave healthy foods after eating right for long enough and I'm hoping to get there one day.

February may be ending, but I will still be working on these goals. Meanwhile onward to March!

Random Thoughts - Health and Fitness

"Today, more than 95% of all chronic disease is caused by food choice, toxic food ingredients, nutritional deficiencies and lack of physical exercise." 

- Mike Adams 

NaturalNews.com

I don't want to be part of this statistic! I know I need to do better making a difference in my life - choosing healthier foods and making a bigger effort to exercise. 

My main focus on exercising or activity this month has been walking. I found this quote and in a conformation biased way I agree with it: 

"Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far." Thomas Jefferson

Notice how Jefferson says to "Habituate yourself." You need to do the work and put in the effort. No one can do it for you.

I know I have been improving. I might not see it on the scale, but 2 hours of walking each day counts. It counts for me. All of my workouts count. My good choices count, especially so when I feel like making bad ones. I know I can make a difference for my health - body and mind. 

Image: Jennifer SweetOnVeg

"I've always believed fitness is an entry point to help you build that happier, healthier life. When your health is strong, you're capable of taking risks. You'll feel more confident to ask for the promotion. You'll have more energy to be a 

better mom. You'll feel more deserving of love." 

Jillian Michaels

Product Envy - Exercise Equipment

Here are a few products I've been looking at recently. I can't afford them right now, but it's fun to window shop : ) 

1) Gaiam Print Yoga Mats are so pretty! It's hard to pick my favorite, but this purple one just is so relaxing I love it! I've been attempting to incorporate yoga into my exercise schedule...usually on "non-workout days" as a means of stretching all my muscles. I'm also hoping to improve my flexibility. I currently don't have a mat and usually end up sliding all over the floor, so I definitely hope to purchase one in the future!

2) BOSU Standard Balance Trainer. I've never used one before, but recently I've seen a bunch of workouts on Pinterest that incorporate one, so they aren't just for balancing! My joints get very sore laying on the floor to do different exercises and I feel that using a BOSU would help with that.

3) Gaiam Balance Ball Chairs. I've seen these types of chairs on Pinterest and am interested in using one when I do sit at my desk. It's supposed to help with back alignment and helps strengthen your core. 

4) Fitbit Force Wireless Activity + Sleep Wristband. While I currently use a pedometer I like how the Fitbit is used on your wrist. I wonder how accurate that is for measuring steps? It also tracks other things, including monitoring your sleep! I'm not sure if I like the idea of having an electronic attached to me at all times, but I like that it syncs all of your information to your computer so that you don't have to record your own stats.

What exercise products would you love to have?

Working Out Sucks! - A Book Review

Image: Amazon

A month or two ago I read Working Out Sucks! (And Why It Doesn't Have To): the Only 21-Day Kick-Start Plan for Total Health and Fitness You'll Ever Need by Chuck Runyon et al. While I disagree that this book will solve all your health and fitness problems, I do believe it can help "kick-start" your exercise and health plans.

Runyon et al. excel at motivating the reader to take control of their life and improve their health. I love how the chapters are small, which makes it easy to read just a section or two when you have a short break. The last section of the book is a diet/exercise plan. I didn't use this section myself, as I'm not into counting calories or measuring out servings, but it was helpful to get ideas.

The book includes real-life examples of people who have turned their life around in the health department. Inspirational quotes and informational statistics help activate your inner desire to improve your life. 

As I said earlier, it's not going to be all you need to change your life, but it will help. Funny, insightful, and a quick read, it's bound to touch on some area that relates to you, but don't expect the "Kick-Start Plan" to match your needs. 

Walking Walking Walking

Image: Peter Blanchard 

Increasing my steps each day isn't easy. My legs get tired (wearing shoes in the house and switching between my two pairs tennis/running shoes each day seems to help). I don't like getting sweaty and out of breath (I know that means I'm working hard, but it's not pleasant to deal with every day). 

My new favorite way to add steps is by walking (fast paced, but maybe not quite speed walking) while watching TV (Olympics anyone?). I've tried reading while walking back and forth in the house, but it sometimes makes me dizzy. I know I can't put as much effort or speed into walking when I read either. 

You're supposed to reach 10,000 steps a day for a healthy lifestyle. That's equivalent to 5 miles! I am trying to attain that many every day (I've reached it a couple of times), but it requires dedicating at least 2 hours of walking to reach it. I'm trying to lose weight and get in shape, so I can accept that I have to put in that much work, but for other people that seems like a lot of time dedicated to walking! 

If you have workouts during the week as well could you diminish this number? For example, say you workout for 30 minutes 3 times a week. Do you really need 10,000 steps each day? Especially on the days you're working out? An intense workout burns more calories than walking. 

I'm just not sure what to focus on...getting 10,000 everyday or trying to dedicate more time to workouts, even if they are short. What do you try to aim for in steps each day? Or what kind of exercise schedule would you suggest for a beginner to exercising?

My Mantra

This is my mantra. It seems simple, but it's not. It gets tiring to eat right when you see fabulous but fatty food on the television and internet. It's hard to always work hard when you are tired of working out and you don't see progress. When both of the first lines aren't working out you don't feel good. I know because I get to that point a lot. 

I get tired. Tired of cooking homemade meals. Tired of staying active. Tired of making the right choices. Don't we all? Yet I press on. I want to feel good. I want to feel positive about the way I look. I want to know I'm doing the best for my body. I want to be healthy and fit for once in my life. I've heard that happiness is the key to health, but I think it's the other way around. Health is the key to happiness. If you aren't healthy you can't truly be happy because there's always that part of you that knows you aren't feeling good (either mentally, emotionally or physically).

I want to be happy. I have a whole year of plans and projects to get to that goal. I know I'm not going to get there without this key step - Health. It's all encompassing. You have to be healthy - physically, in your relationships, in your career, emotionally, and mentally - in order to be healthy. I want to feel good, so I'm going to eat right and work hard, even when I don't want to. I will feel good.

What's your mantra? How do you motivate yourself, especially when you aren't seeing improvement?

A Newbie to Healthy Eating

My switch to healthier eating has been pretty recent. Sure I've been telling myself that I have been doing better since September, but in actuality I wasn't doing that great. I dislike eating healthy. I have cravings for fast food, ice cream, pizza, you name it! I know that these foods aren't going to help my goals of losing weight, so I've been slowly moving towards a healthier lifestyle in general. It's hard! Here's what I do:

• If you are going to choose an unhealthy food, try to add something healthy to it. I still eat pizza, but I make it homemade (store-bought dough) and add spinach, onions and peppers to it. I use turkey sausage and low-fat mozzarella. I still get that yummy pizza taste, but it's not as bad for me. 
• Think about the money you save. It's been getting easier and easier to turn down those packaged goodies in favor of fruits and veggies when I look at my grocery receipts! Fresh food seems to cost a loss less and since we're on a budget going healthy is more economical. Make the effort to wash and chop up your own produce instead of buying the more expensive versions that do the prep for you.
• Hold yourself accountable. It has made a huge difference sharing my health goals with my husband. He reminds me of them (because I've asked him to) when I might be tempted to eat unhealthily. We make the meal plan together and shop together so that it's easier to make good choices. 
• Make switches slowly. In the last month or two we have almost doubled the variety and amount of veggies we used to eat, we now make our own whole wheat bread, we stopped buying muffins and pastries, we only buy natural pop (and not much of it) and we don't buy ice cream anymore. We used to buy ice cream at every shopping trip, so that was a huge change for us! We are still trying to eliminate processed foods, but we recognize that it is slow. Just pick one focus each week (or month!) and agree on it as a family. If my husband was still eating unhealthily, I wouldn't be doing so well. It's hard to succeed when there are unhealthy options available in your home. Start small and move your way up.
• Treat yourself a little. While we don't buy ice cream (or haven't for about a month...we'll see if we can last!), we have started buying frozen fruit bars. They still have that satisfying sweet taste, but they don't have the high amounts of fat from ice cream. I think it's important that you don't totally deprive yourself (not that we'd starve). You are still going to want treats, just try to make good choices that will still give you some satisfaction.

What changes or moves have you made to eat healthier? I'm always looking for more ways to improve. 

Free Video Workouts

I don't belong to a gym. I don't really want to either, as that means commuting in order to workout. I much prefer working out in my own home in private. My husband and I like to work out together, but coming up with your own routing and timing each move is difficult for us. So we rely on video workouts. I don't want to shell out money to work out, so we stick with free videos we find online. 

Our current favorites are the videos from here and here. I love that both of these sites offer a great variety of workouts in a variety of lengths as well. Cycling through the videos ensures that we don't get bored and that we keep our workouts fresh. I think that it's also good that our bodies don't get used to any particular routine. We try to workout every other day, but at a minimum don't go without a workout for 3 days. 

Do you have any free workout videos that you enjoy? We are always looking for new ones, so please let me know!

Olympic Spirit

Don't you just love the Olympics? It's so inspirational seeing all the athletes competing. It inspires me to improve myself physically, even though I know I will never compete in the Olympics and probably in any sport to any extent at all. 

It amazes me to see the speed, agility, skill and sheer awesomeness of these athletes. It makes me want to do better and increase my own abilities. 

I know I can improve and I know I will. Just this week my weight has stopped fluctuating for my morning weigh in. It's so encouraging to see the number staying low! Now I want to start seeing it move DOWN. 

I've been increasing my steps each day (which I read today can also decrease your risk of heart disease). I did have a poor eating day on the weekend, but I'm not going to let that stop me. Even if you have a low day for exercise or your diet don't let it stop your overall improvement. One bad day can't stop you! 

How do you keep yourself on track? Do you allow yourself "low" days? Do you have a specific routine coming off of those days? Let me know!